10.18.14

Nostalgic hands reach out

to touch this holy mantle,

brushing away dust and

memories best forgotten

 

I breathe deep and

listen for the

scent of you

to come visit me,

more real and present than

the space in each photo

where your face is

meant to be

but never does appear

 

Every nerve ending

connected to the

pounding in my chest

screams that you

should be in there,

not ghosted away to

a fortress of his will that

keeps you at arm’s distance

and me without a key

 

My mind hurls itself at

the locked steel bars,

a battering ram to

the door of all things unfair,

kicking and bashing

until the pain

from bloodied mental knuckles

gently lay me

to the cool uncaring floor

where I weep a river that

floods the moat

 

Because you wanted to be there too.

 

 

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