He opened the University letter with shaky hands, whispering incoherent desperate pleas that this be good news. And it was. With a grin, he phoned his mom. There were words of congratulations exchanged and lots of well wishing but somewhere in between “what are you going to do next” and “wow, it’s all really happening”, he heard a sniffle. He turned and saw his wife choking on dreadful looking sobs, holding out a plastic stick with a little pink plus sign. So naturally, he tossed the Uni letter into the fire place and drank a bottle of whiskey as he watched himself die.