Since I saw you last…

My hair is longer

My waist is smaller

I’ve become a vegetarian

(You’d probably laugh real hard at that one)

I don’t talk as much

I feel harder

(angrier)

*

Miles away

I still look for you

as stupid as that may be

(but I guess crazier things have happened)

Can’t help but hate you a little

Because I love you a lot

(still)

For J.P.

My daughter says your name with a smile on her face,

Not knowing it’s a knife to my chest

I keep waiting to miss you less

But the need still picks my skin, stings my eyes

Paint from your brush hangs on my walls

Humoring me, our initials same as twins

It cuts.

You should be here teaching me everything you know

All those times sweet turned bitter

Because it was missing your smile

Your joy

Your pride

You left this world but have yet to leave my mind

My life will always be less than

What I want it to be

Because I want it to be with you